Once again, it’s Works for Me Wednesday. For more great ideas, see www.rocksinmydryer.typepad.com
My tip this week is on keeping the husband/wife relationship alive and vital. As a family begins to have children and more children (grin), sometimes husband and wife begin to relate to each other *only* as mom and dad. My husband and I, as much as we cherish our roles as mom and dad, want to remain husband and wife to each other! So, we do several things to keep that alive. Here are two that might work for other familes as well:
1) Our children are in their beds, tucked in, by no later than 8:30pm. Lights go out at 9pm. The older children can read in their beds until lights out or play quietly in their beds with lego or something similar. But at 9pm, the lights go out. Sometimes that is a bit later if we have done something as a family (hike, walk, game night, etc). After 9pm, it’s time for my husband and I to just relax. Often, we read together, watch a movie, talk, dream, whatever. It’s our time.
2) We go out every 2 weeks, with few exceptions. When we have a new baby or young toddler, that child usually comes with us. But everyone else stays home with a trusted sitter. We have been blessed with wonderful babysitters who have had siblings with autism so they understand our eldest son. I schedule out our date nights at least one month in advance with the sitter. We use the same sitter and she knows we will use her babysitting services every other week. For example, I have date nights scheduled through the end of May and next week I will schedule through July.
Our date nights are not extravagent. We usually do dinner plus a bookstore browse. Or dinner and a movie. Or dessert and a concert. Something fun, not to expensive and always a time where we can talk together!
Works for me US!
Thanks for the reminder. I need to do that. We have a colicy 8 week old, so time is at a prime!
Great tips! We do the same thing. Kids are in bed by 8 every night, with very few exceptions. And almost every Friday is a date night. One other thing that I have found helps us remember our relationship is seperate from our children’s is to occasionally call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. I’ll jokingly ask my husband if he wants to be my boyfriend if he does something exceptionally sweet, romantic, or sexy. Keeps the fires burnin’ if ya know what I mean!
We’ve got the kids in bed by eight, too, with the big kids allowed to read or write quietly. We don’t go out, but we almost always spend our evenings together, talking, watching movies, doing other *adult* things…:-D We’re a military family, living around deployments and training, so whatever time we get together is sacred!
We agree with the going to bed part. The time my husband and I have after the little ones go to bed is wonderful. Even if we aren’t actively doing something together we are usually in the same room. Dates have been scattered, but it would be nice to have a routine like yours.
Thanks for the reminder! Our baby is a month old and its so hard to find time to be husband and wife instead of mom and dad. Thank God for wonderful parents that live next door!
great post.
even for those of us like me who will probably not have children, the time-keeping tips you’ve stated can easily apply to the working man/woman, too. Thanks for the post, and keep writing!